Events Blog

I had the pleasure of attending a bridal show on Sunday at the Hollywood Beach Marriott.  I met some fabulous brides, chatted about what sound like great weddings and had a really fun day overall.  However, like pretty much every other show that I attend, the same question kept coming up again and again…”Why do I need a Day-of-Event Coordinator?” Brides and moms would site that either their best friend or their aunt was going to make sure everything ran smoothly on their wedding day, that they have all of their vendors already chosen or my favorite – the venue has a manager; so they are all set right? WRONG!  Choosing a Day-of to assist with your wedding is pure choice. First, let me say that you don’t need any one person or any one thing (short of the actual piece of paper that says you are married) on your actual wedding day to make it special and perfect.  Everyone has different tastes and every wedding is different. Now that being said, I can tell you a short story – a few years ago I attended a wedding.  The bride was beautiful and everything looked perfect.  She asked a good friend to help her on the wedding day, which was great in theory.  The weather turned bad about an hour before the ceremony.  She was a half hour late, which pushed the ceremony back, which led to the reception starting late.  The friend that was helping didn’t understand the importance of trying to catch up or make up the time and the on-site catering manager was involved in making sure that food was running smoothly.  At 11PM, the caterer walked over to the mom and asked her if she wanted to “continue the event?”.  The bride’s mother, not understanding the severity of what she was agreeing to, said yes.  The event continued on until 11:30 so that the cake cutting and bouquet toss could be done.  Obviously, the DJ hung out to make sure there was music for everyone who remained on the dance floor and the bar continued to stay open.  However, when the cake cutting and bouquet toss were done, there was no photographer or videographer…. Where could they have gone?! The answer is very simple.  Those two vendors were contracted until 11PM.  At that time, they told the friend in charge, who had been drinking and enjoying the party, that they were contracted until 11PM and if she didn’t need them for anything else; they were going to leave.  She agreed, waved goodbye and out the door they went, along with the chance for the bride to capture the cake cutting and bouquet toss on film. However this wasn’t the worst part… the father was also asked for two checks at the end of the night for the DJ’s overtime as well as the catering overtime for staff and additional open bar.  Yes, it’s a true story, but I’m not trying to scare anyone.  It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it does happen.  This whole situation could have been easily managed if the time would have been made up and a proper schedule was drafted.  Plus, a good planner knows how to negotiate with vendors to try to get you through the sticky situation of overages.  So, that brings me back to the question of “Do I really need a Day-of-Coordinator for my wedding?” My personal answer is simple… if you want peace of mind then yes.  If you want to be able to enjoy your event and allow everyone at that event to enjoy it along with you, yes.  If you want to make sure that the amount that you paid when every last contract was signed is the same amount that you pay at the end of your event, then yes.  If you want it done professionally with attention to detail, budget and time…YES! 

More and more these days, we find that brides are choosing to “fly solo” on their side of the alter.  That’s right, no bridesmaids, no flower girl and absolutely no maid of honor.  Sound strange, well most are citing the drama, bickering and overall hassle that comes with putting several young women together and trying to manage them. Instead of shutting everyone out, how about just straightening them up? Here are several tips to ensure that your bridesmaids are happy, helpful and humble at your wedding

1. Choose bridesmaids for their friendship and personal meaning to you, not just to make others happy – don’t make your crazy cousin a bridesmaid just because your mother suggested it unless you really want to.  Choosing people that you don’t really trust or want associated with your wedding will force you to micromanage the event and keep you from delegating responsibility.  Once that is done, the brunt of responsibilities either fall on the bride, her immediate family or worse, one single bridesmaid.  Choose people you trust and truly want to be a part of your special day. 
2. Lay out the responsibilities up front – many bridesmaids don’t know what they are getting into when they are asked to be a part of a wedding, especially those doing it for the first time.  Be upfront and honest with them.  If you don’t want them to do anything, just show up on the day of the event, tell them.  However, if you want them to be involved in the process with you, make sure you decide beforehand what responsibilities you are comfortable with sharing and lay them out up front, at your very first meeting. 
3. Choose attire that will flatter everyone so that everyone feels comfortable – for many, that may mean choosing one color dress and offering it to your bridesmaids in several different styles.  If your bridesmaid doesn’t feel comfortable and confident in what you are asking her to wear, it may show on their face, which in turn may show up on your pictures.  You may want to even allow the girls to make several dress suggestions, that way you they are involved and helping with the decisions. 
4. Be reasonable with your expectations – Being honest and open about what you need is the best way to set up the guidelines for your bridesmaids up front. However when it comes to their actual projects make sure that you are not unreasonable with your requests.  There’s no way that one bridesmaid is going to be able to hand address 500 invitations in one night! Being unreasonable with requests usually happens when the bride is stressed and things are running behind.  Don’t forget that when you are stressed, it can easily stress the rest of the wedding party!
5. Remember, you may be in their shoes very soon! – Don’t forget that what goes around comes around.  Treat others the way that you want to be treated and other great old sayings can come into play here.  Sure, you may be the bride this time around, but next year it may be their turn and you might be the bridesmaid.  Good organization, reasonable expectations, open, honest requests and valued relationships will help you make sure your bridesmaids’ experience is a great one – and in turn they will treat you the same when their turn comes.   

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